Sry I called you an 8
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
