Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Randomize