do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
