How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
