dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
