Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
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