Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
