I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Shame is for Republicans.
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