ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
did i just pee glitter
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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