Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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