she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
