i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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