Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
