the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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