Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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