Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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