someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
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