You're so nebulous sometimes
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
