how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
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