Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
