I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Randomize
