you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
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