Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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