i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Randomize