Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Randomize