How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Let's get the cat blown out
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
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