It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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