Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
