is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
