Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
