i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
