so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
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