My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
