Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
