Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
