WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
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