Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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