Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Randomize
