Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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