You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
