i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
