omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
