Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Randomize
