i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
You smell like stripper and shame
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
