Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
