garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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