Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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