i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Randomize