honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
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