Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Farmville is her only friend.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
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