I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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