Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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