the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
