My Higher Power is John Stamos
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
