Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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