You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
