His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
