i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
