I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
