two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
